The only sure way to keep your New Year’s resolution is to not make one.
Lose with Willpower
Relying on willpower alone is a losing strategy. When weighing a distant future where we might gain an ounce against the treat right in front of us, we take instant pleasure every time. The desire for what we want, especially when it’s in front of us, is relentless. Your willpower is limited. Eventually, you succumb. Everybody’s willpower breaks at some point.
Failure to Failure
Beating yourself up for failure is counterproductive. Putting too much pressure on yourself to do the right thing can actually cause stress and damage your health.
Reward Yourself
Instead, reward yourself for success. You get more flies with honey than vinegar. This is true with yourself, as well. Don’t be sour with yourself, be sweet—at least after you have a ‘win’ in the day.
Deflect and Divert
Rather than trying to dam up a flood of desire, divert that desire to something better. Don’t oppose desire head-on; deflect it. For example, rather than having no dessert, try having fruit for dessert. This can drain the sweet tooth of its power. Don’t pretend you are a robot.
Eliminate Choice
Start by taking away the choice. Don’t have junk food in your house (and don’t go shopping hungry). No matter how much you want it, if it’s not there, you can’t cheat.
Make it Fun
To exercise more, you have to find an activity you enjoy. Trying to flog yourself into shape through drudgery is a formula for failure and may even be harmful. Driving yourself too hard can harm your mental and physical health. Try new activities, and when you find one that is not drudgery, do it again. Walk, ride a bike, use a stair climber, try different options. Find something you enjoy (or at least tolerate).
Make it Social
One of the best ways to do this is to make it social. Go for a walk or bike ride with others. Make a trip to the gym a social outing. Spending time with people can be enough of a reward to do 30 minutes on a stair climber. You might even schedule an outing together after a workout, such as a coffee (without donuts), a quick shopping trip, or even a chance to watch your favourite soap together. But don’t click on the TV until after the workout. Then you and your friend(s) can enjoy a guilty pleasure without the guilt. You’ve earned it. (But don’t undo your work with junk.)
Be Thankful
Be thankful for what you have. Gratitude also helps build your relationships, which are key to success in any area of your life. Being thankful dampens our feeling of entitlement. When we feel entitled, we are more likely to make bad choices. We think we deserve to be bad or make bad choices because we are hard done by. When we are grateful, we don’t need anything to ease our misfortune.
Self-Control Secret
Gratitude is one of the only ways to build self-control. By thinking about something other than our immediate needs, our soul is able to put desires into perspective. It’s a law of the universe: be thankful, and you will help yourself make better choices.
Train Desire
If we slowly train ourselves to help others, our selfish desires get smaller. When we focus on longing for good things, our desire for self-destructive things fades. Destructive desires never go away. Humans seem to have a self-destructive bent, but through gratitude and patience, we can shift our desire onto things that our future self will be glad we did.
Keep This Resolution
Make it your goal this year to be thankful every day. That’s a resolution you can keep, and it will make everything else fall into place. You have what it takes to succeed.
