We think we have the answers to the problems of the day. But what if we’re wrong? Unless we are all-knowing, we are wrong about something.

Fooled by Certainty

If we cannot admit that we might be wrong, we are more likely to be fooled by people. We might think that if we hold to our views rigidly, we are less likely to be fooled, but in fact, if we don’t admit that we could be wrong, we are unable to learn, and we can’t separate fact from opinion.

Being Wrong Can Help

Being willing to admit we might be wrong helps us in our personal life. Often, when we get into conflict with our loved ones, it’s because we can’t see things from their point of view, or we are missing important bits of information that could change our perspective.

Being Wrong at Work

This is also true at work. If we think we have all the answers, we will likely end up in a pickle. Often, the people who know what is really going on are at the bottom of the totem pole. Don’t ignore them.

Convictions are Not Negotiable

Does this mean we can’t have any convictions? No, some things are not open to debate. No one will convince you that you don’t love your husband, wife, son, daughter or friend. But maybe we are not showing our love in a way that they can see.

Grounded in Our Gut

We believe many things that we can’t explain to others. Some things go deeper than logic. In fact, all beliefs are grounded in our gut, and then our mind builds reasons on top of that. There is no way to start from nothing and get to our beliefs. We have to trust something.

Conviction Translation Errors

Even if we have gut-level convictions, we have to recognize that we can make mistakes in working them out in the world. Sometimes we translate our beliefs into actions in the wrong way. We need to admit that if we learn something new, we may have to change our actions. No person or party has the exclusive on absolute truth. Absolute truth is limited to the Being who is the ground of all truth, and that is not us.

The Listening Cure

The cure to correcting our bad ideas and actions is listening. We must admit we have something to learn in every situation. We can learn something from every single person we meet, even if they are simpletons, if we will only listen.

Talk of Listening is Cheap

To really listen, the person talking must feel like you are open to what they have to say. Just saying ‘I’m listening’ won’t do it. We’ve all had a boss who says, ‘My door is always open. Yet, they shoot the messengers of bad news or immediately kibosh ideas without even listening.

Learn to Listen

Listening is not natural. It is something we have to practice. We have to listen for more than the words. Sometimes the words not being said are more important. For you to listen, the person speaking has to trust you. If the person doesn’t trust you, you can’t listen because they will not be honest with you due to a lack of trust.

Take on This Attitude

To unlock good listening, we must practice humility. And humility doesn’t come naturally, not at all. But without humility, you can’t learn from another person. Unless you believe that a person has something to teach you, you can’t listen. Unless you recognize that they may know more than you about something, you won’t listen. It is difficult to give up our posture of knowing, but without humility, we won’t master life.

Respect the Powerless

Having humility with the low is the true test. If you are only humble with the high and mighty, that’s not humility---that’s kissing associates. Learn to think of others as better than yourself, at least in some way. Yes, even those people who you think are below your level.

Humility Paradox

When you take on this attitude, you will learn from others and will grow by leaps and bounds. Your relationships will flower as you get insight from others, and most of all, you will learn about yourself. You will master life. If you are able to draw out honesty from others, you will reap the greatest reward. Those who put themselves below others end up with better lives. It’s the humility paradox.